When you’re in Mumbai, you’re surrounded by people who love Hindi cinema. Why people would want to sit through three hours of Akshay Kumar’s ‘hehehuhahahuhahaha’ laugh, is beyond me. Even newspapers spend more time covering Kareena Kapoor’s hickeys than the destitute in the city. Makes you think eh?
Speaking of thinking, heard of Katrina Kaif? How can you not? She’s that weird woman on TV, who gets seduced by mangoes, or is it the other way around? Really now, the things people do for money K Isn’t it unfair how a woman who can’t act, speak Hindi, dance or do anything useful for a Hindi film be cast in so many of them? Just because of her good looks? Is that all it takes to be an actor? Good genes? What about all those struggling actors who’ve studied theatre for years and genuinely love the art of acting?
And what is it with these grandpa men being paired with 20-something plastically endowed women? They wear shades that cost 50,000 bucks and move their pelvises to some awful wanna-be hip hop beats and think they’re the ‘kool dudes who get the hot ‘items’ and are so chilled out maaaan’. Then there’s the very famous actor, who’s shot a blackbuck and run over a man with his car. Everyone, being the saints that they are have forgiven him (nothing to do with his celebrity status, of course) and joined his efforts in ‘being human’. Irony much?
These movies are so damn long and point-less that if I really wanted to have ‘time-pass’, I’d rather have someone drill a hole through my cranium. That’d be less painful. Watching women in pounds of make-up, can-barely-breathe-through-these noses and i-starve-myself-to-get-paid-and-laid attitudes is hardly what I call ‘entertainment.
But I should admit that a few commercial Hindi movies did do justice: Chak de India, Wake up Sid etc. It was not just another ‘Pyaar ki ek Kahaani’. There was more to it-a bit of a Western influence perhaps? I believe that watching lovers run around a tree and wear brightly blinding clothes is not what makes good cinema, But statistics prove me wrong. Sigh.
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